50th blog'' or nightmareish hell !!

this our 50th blog but i havent beeen here some days and others i dont do them so this is like my 20th or somthin blog. but within this 20 blogs and this school year i have discovered somthing that hurts for me but is joy for others and im not talking about the election with obama and mc cain. im talkin bout........... and thats the problem i cant say it due to reasons. this blog is the only thing i can come out to and i cant even say it here, its like indiana jones when he discovered sumthin, but i discovered somthin thats already been taken, and theres proly nttn i can do either, im lost and empty with out this and i cant afford to be without, so the best thing to do is ,........ nttn but be there every day im alive and enjoy it.